My 30 day challenge

You know, when I challenged myself to write something everyday for a month, I wasn't really thinking.

I actually wasn't thinking at all.  

I tried to write yesterday, but I literally couldn't get anything out. 

I am so sleep deprived that I sometimes can't form a complete sentence when I'm trying to talk to someone (I wish I was joking about this).

I guess what I REALLY need to do is just re-commit myself to writing.  I know it doesn't have to be everyday.  I just need to actually do it when I have something swimming around in my head.


So I apologize for making a commitment that I just can't keep.  But keep coming back to read.  I still have a lot to say...it just might not be everyday.


And tomorrow I will talk about sleep deprivation...if I don't fall asleep while trying to write it!

Comfort in Love

There is comfort in love.

The comfort that you know that you are loved.

The comfort that someone is there for you when you need to be loved.

There is also that time when love BECOMES comfortable.  

When love becomes comfortable it can mean different things.

It can become comfortable in the way that you relax and you can be yourself and know that the other person will love you no matter what.

It can also be comfortable in the way that you get lazy and can get trapped in a cycle that can lend itself to carelessness.  You can land in that place of taking your love for granted.

Both of these things go hand in hand.

I think that we have all been there.  I know that my husband loves me.  I also know that he is guilty of taking me for granted.  I will absolutely say the same thing about myself.

I am not perfect.

He is not perfect.

Why then do we expect our LOVE to be perfect?

I haven't figured this one out.  Jon and I are quickly approaching 14 years of being together.  We STILL can't figure out how to love each other without hurting each other.

Maybe love IS part of the problem.  I've heard a lot of people say that you hurt the ones that you love the most.  Is this because we truly believe in the unconditional love that is formed?  Or is it because we just take for granted that the other person will stand up, dust the hurt off, and continue on?

I would LOVE to figure out HOW to find comfort in love without becoming too comfortable.  I realize that it's a two way street.

I have honestly never tried harder in my life to be more loving and considerate...not only to my husband, but to other loved ones in my life as well.

Though I must say, my husband is the one that I struggle with the most.

I guess it might have something to do with the fact that we have three children 3 and under.  It also might have something to do with the fact that we very rarely get to spend time alone.  It also might have something to do with the fact that we are both exhausted...physically and mentally.


So here is the question...at what point to we get over ourselves and get on with our love for each other?


It's a work in progress.  Every day needs to be a new start.  I say that here, but I really have to implement it into my life.  Again, I'm not perfect, so yes...work in progress.

The sadest excuse for a post ever (Monday's Post)

Just because I can't bring myself to admit defeat.

I am doing this sorry post for falling asleep last night before I had a chance to write anything for Monday.

The title does not mean that the content of the post is not meaningful.

I would just like to take a moment to say that we all need to sit down every now and then and remind ourselves that we need to be thankful for all of the people in our lives that love us and that we in turn love.

We as a culture are always on the go, go, go.  We don't always take the time that we should to appreciate our loved ones.

So take a minute after reading this and think about all of the people in your life that you love.


Take another minute after that and let them know that you love and appreciate them.


It will be the most meaningful and happy two minutes of your life today.

Favorite Pics (Sunday's post actually done on Sunday!)

I want to share some of my favorite pictures with you!

I have many of them, so this is going to be hard to narrow it down.  I will tell you where and when the picture was taken so you have a story to go with the picture.  I think this is going to turn into a series, so keep your eyes open!

Some of the pictures are ones that you may have already seen on this blog.  

I have a tendency to use the good ones over and over.  I mean, if it's a good picture, why not show it off as much as possible, right?

I'm going to start in the beginning.  Meaning pictures from the wedding.  Mostly because I don't have a lot of photos before we were married on the computer.  They are all on picture CD's which is just a pain to load onto the computer at this particular time.


Favorite pictures from our wedding week!!!!

Here we are the day before the wedding.  We were just trying out the gazebo where it was all going to happen!  I love this picture because it reminds me how very excited we were to be getting married.

Here I am getting ready.  I am blow drying my hair trying to make it even MORE curly than it already is.  At this point I was freaking out a little because Jon and I were already apart from each other until the ceremony.  I love this picture because it is just so totally me.

 I love this picture because it truly shows our love and emotion for each other and importance of being married meant (and means) to us.  I barely held it together to get my vows out.  Jon had the same problem.  Honestly I am tearing up as I am writing this caption while looking at this picture because my love for my husband grows every day (even if he does drive me nuts sometimes).

I love this picture because it was the kiss that finally sealed the deal!

Really?  How can you NOT love this picture?!

This is one of my ALL TIME favorite pictures of myself.  I think that I am so beautiful in this picture.  I am happy and I think, no I KNOW that it shows.  I also love that you can tell that my eyes are two different colors.  That is something that I have always liked about myself....it's a little something extra that makes me unique.

And last, but certainly not least.  This picture is possibly one of THE BEST pictures that we have EVER taken.  It's just about perfect!

I hope that you have enjoyed the pictures and the story behind them as much as I have enjoyed sharing them with you!

Fried food, pony rides, and plants. (Saturday's post)

Fried food and pony rides at no other place but the county fair.  Also plants.  I know, you wouldn't think that plants would have a place at the fair, but they do.

We started out our outing at the fair with deep fried goodness.  Which I paid dearly for later.  There is a reason that you aren't supposed to eat grease laden vegetables.  They tasted very yummy though!!!!!

The Munchkin talked about pony rides ALL WEEK!!!!  This was the one thing that she was looking forward to at the fair.  We walked around the entire place at least twice to find the pony ride.  I don't think that I've heard her squeal that loud in ages.

Munchkin and Mommy.

Jonathan had a fun time too.  He really liked riding the ponies as well.  It's like a dream come true for me for my kids to love riding horses.  I think I may see riding lessons in my future (for the kids, not me...I know how to ride although it's been years).

Little Man and Daddy.

We visited some of the 4-H animals.

Munchkin, Grandma, and Little Man.

Let's not forget about the plants.  Munchkin picked out a plant to bring home and take care of.  There was a booth with all of these odd plants.  There bug eating plants like venus fly traps.  They also had a couple of other bug-eating plants that I had never seen.  Munchkin chose a plant that doesn't require dirt.  You soak it for about 3 minutes a week, dry it off and put it where you want.  In a dish, on a shelf, or carrying it around with you (which Munchkin has decided is the best way to take care of it).  I know, of all things to get at a fair, she wants a plant.  Hopefully we can take care of it and keep it going....I don't have very good luck with plants, but it sounds easy enough.

A good time was had by all.  Memories were made.  The kids will be talking about it for weeks.

Priceless!

Self Esteem (Friday's Post)

So I'm totally one day behind on my posts.  It's all my job's fault.  Especially when you don't get home before midnight.  So I will have two posts today.

I originally wanted to do a post to share some of my favorite pictures with you, but the husband can't remember where he put the jump drive (sigh), so I bumped up this post.

I wanted to focus a little on self esteem.  I think that we can always use a little more self esteem (generally speaking).

I personally have a problem with this.  As in I don't have enough. 

I used to ooze self esteem.  I used to be the hot girl...and I knew it.  I wasn't snobby about it (although I'm sure that you could find some people that would say I was).  I was thin.  I had long hair (which I still do, so I'm not sure why this matters).  I was totally confident about myself.

Who wouldn't feel confident looking like this???

Now.  I am not.  I am not thin (I know a lot of people would disagree with this).  I am having a hard time dealing with my post post post baby body (I felt the need to fit all three in there).  Now realistically I know that I look fan-freakin-tabulous (thank you to my thyroid for being overactive) for having a baby 9 weeks ago.  Here's the thing....clothes are a wonderful thing.  ANYONE can look fabulous in clothes.  It's the lack of clothes (and swimsuits) that terrify the living daylights out of me.


I heard this song by Christina Aguilera.  It's called Vanity.  Fair warning, it has some bad language in it, so if the kiddos are within hearing distance, I would wait to listen to it.




I am totally making this my new theme song.  I think it should be yours too.  Or at least I hope it makes you giggle a little!


Self esteem....here I come to find you!

Preschool!!!!! (Thursday's post)

Okay, so this didn't get posted last night because I came home from work, sat down on the couch, and promptly fell asleep.

So, today there will be two posts.  And I should probably do today's post early because Friday is a late night.  We'll see how it goes.  

So I received the Munchkin's paperwork for preschool in the mail yesterday.

Oh. My. Goodness.

When did this happen?

When did my BABY GIRL become old enough to go to school.
 
Okay, I know it's not like it's her first day of kindergarten, but preschool IS a big deal.  I am so excited for her because she is excited.  It's only two days a week for two hours at a time.  But it's a big deal.  

It's the next step in her childhood.

As much as I love seeing her grow....I kind of wish that it would slow down a little.  I want to enjoy every minute of her being little because I know that all of these moments will have flown by faster than imaginable.

Have fun at school Munchkin!  Mommy loves you!

Sorry it's been so long.

So I know that it's literally been forever since I've done a post.

I also know that my last post was not the happiest one ever.

And to tell you the truth, I'm not sure that this one will be either.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not hating life exactly, I'm just caught in a really big whirlwind of confusion at the moment.

I am not confused about my kids.  They are wonderful.

I am not confused about school.  That is definitely starting on August 23rd whether I'm ready or not.

I am not confused about my work situation.  It's not the most fun thing in the world, but it's stable and I can pay my bills.

I am however confused about myself.

I am also confused about my husband...he seems not to be talking to me at the moment because I told him about himself last night. I won't share all of the details, but I know hearing things about yourself that aren't all about puppies and kittens can make you a little peeved.

I am still confused about my childhood situation...although that is slowly making its way to the back burner for now (finally).

I was thinking about this while I was at work (because honestly I don't have anything better to do while I'm there).  I feel like a part of me has been missing since I haven't been writing, and I would like to set a goal for myself.  I would like to try and post something everyday for a month.  I'm not promising that it will be any great and wonderful content.  I just want to see if I can do it.  It will probably consist of a bunch of nonsense and mostly ramblings, but who knows....something interesting might come out of it.

So here starts the everyday posts for a month.  I will elaborate on the stuff that's going on with the husband and myself starting tomorrow.  I know...I have to keep you on the edge or your seat.  Not really.  The fact of the matter is that it is now 11:40pm and I need to go wash bottles and then feed baby boy.  Which also brings up a good point.  I really need to come up with a good nickname for him.  I can't call him baby boy forever....and stinker doesn't really capture the wonderfulness of him.  Maybe I'll take a poll.


Back to Mommy world!