To "Fifty" or Not to "Fifty"

Yup, I'm going there.

Ohhhh.....such a HOT topic.  For so MANY reasons.

If you haven't read it, you've heard about it.  Don't shake your head, I know we would all be hard pressed to find someone who hasn't.

If you have read it, you're probably wondering what other people are doing with the information that was soaked up like a thirsty sponge from this hot and bothered terribly romantic love story.

Yes.  Yes I did.  I just called it a love story.  BEEECAAUUUSSEEE....that's exactly what it is.  It just has a few, um, twists and turns to make the story line more interesting.

ANYWAY!

I've also been wondering how many relationships that E.L. James has brought out of the drudgery of pure boredom.  Hmm.

Now don't go and get all modest and oh my, that's just too racy for me.  The only one that can hear your reading voice is you.  Unless of course you are reading this out loud, and now we are just getting into issues that aren't my business.

Hands down this is the SEXIEST book series I have ever read.  And I've read a lot.  What makes this unique is that it has the potential to be a real situation (okay....overlook the fact that Christian is filthy rich AND hot as hell and that Ana is a fabulously gorgeous goody two shoes virgin).  These characters fell in love while they were exploring their "adventurous" side.  Happens all the time.  Well, not that so many of us are going out and getting freaky with random people that we just so happen to fall in love with.

I fell in love with my husband after the fact.  I can say that freely now.  It's been 16 years, I'm pretty sure we are safe from being shunned.  We had mad, passionate, gettin' it on like freaks before we even thought about love.

Now we love each other and damn were we boring.  You know, the we have three small children, I'm tired, we're married, we should probably get it on even though I have three tests and a paper to write.  It was just trying to live life and keep a somewhat important aspect of our relationship alive.

Now I'm not talking let's go live out the far from mainstream lives of these people they show on these TV specials to make you wonder what your neighbor could be doing. 

This book series makes you WANT.  Seriously, if there was a word that I could find to use that would describe it better, I would.  It makes you think about your hubby.  Back to the day when you couldn't keep your hands off each other.  Oh yeah, you know what I'm talking about.

THEN...all of the things they do in the book, make you think.  A LOT.  About what you might find...uh...interesting to implement in bedroom.  Now, I have to say that there are some things in the books that make me a little squirmy, and that would be a definite NO!  However, there's many things that creep into your mind that your inner goddess is jumping for joy about.

Oh yes ladies.  We all have one.  She's probably just been sleeping since you had kids.  

Mine woke from a deep slumber raring to go.

Guys (I realize there is like one of you..maybe two that read this), don't shudder.  This is how we think.  It's part of the book that makes it good.  It's something that we can all relate to...you know, those voices in your head.  Not the crazy ones, the normal ones.  Also, if you aren't on the Shades train, you should be.  Open your arms and embrace it, you won't be sorry.

Now I'm not going to talk about what you are willing to do and not do.  It doesn't matter.  It's your life, and your kink.  Whatever floats your boat between two consenting adults, hey go for it.

So just think about it.  Open your mind to something new.  It could change your life....your relationship.

Go get your freak on.  You're not alone.  Embrace it.  Love it.  LOVE IT!  You'll be happier...I promise.

Happiness

Yes.  I am happy.

But here's the thing.  It's all relative.  

You can choose to be happy or freaking miserable.  I am now choosing to be happy.

Well, sort of.  That makes is sound like it's the easiest thing in the world.  It's soooo not.

See, my happiness is not necessarily only contingent upon me.  There's another player in the mix....the hubby.

We both had resentment and anger built up for roughly the last 5 years.  If you dig in the archives you will see the marriage class articles and some more of our trials and tribulations.  I suppose even though we were working on things at that point, it didn't really work AND there were other contributing factors.

Don't you hate it when you realize hindsight is 20/20?  I mean it's always that way...sometimes it's even more clear than 20/20....sometimes 20/10 even.

Honestly, I am so sick of counseling.  Don't get me wrong.  I am all for it.  Totally, I'm a big fan, but I'm over it.  Maybe we needed it, but maybe not.  The thing that actually worked was removing some elements from our life.  You know...the meddlers. 

Plus I started reading the Fifty Shades series.

Seriously.  That's all you need.  People that can stay out of your marriage, and sexy books.

It IS a love story you know.

So with reading that series, we have seemed to find our passion again.  Which is AWESOME!  I mean there is something to be said for comfortable love.  Let's face it though, there doesn't seem to be anything more exciting than being in love and in passion with your husband (wife, partner, whatever).

When you are in love like that, everything seems to fall into place.  And it has, mostly.

We are still trying to figure out how to be parents.  I mean good parents.  It's not just about cuddles and feeding and playing at this point.  It's messy now.  Discipline and school (theirs, not mine) and friends and attitudes.  That's the hard stuff.  We have two laid back kids that generally listen pretty well.  Then there's JJ.  He's the unknown in the equation.  He can be sweet and kind OR he can be a nutball and not listen and be destructive.  We are still learning how to deal with that personality.

Work in progress.  Forever I think.  As long as we are doing the best we can and fix our mistakes as we go along, we'll be good.....if we don't end up in the funny farm.

So is this the key?  I don't know.  It seems like it's our key.  Yours might be different.  I will share our journey.  Some of it, not all of it.  I mean I'm sure you don't want EVERY detail, right?