Monday, May 24, 2010

Operation Reconnection - Some research

So, since Operation Reconnection is in full swing, I've been consistently looking for ideas and advice on how to keep everything going (and in perspective).

I came along this article that suggests 5 fixes for a stronger relationship.   I was curious, so I checked it out.

You know, they can put all kinds of crap out there.  I guess at least it was entertaining (sort of) to read.

It's a list of 5 things according to extra time that you have.  Okay, first of all, I know the concept of extra time is, well, there isn't any extra time....but wait.  It gets better....and more ridiculous.

Disclaimer:  I am in no way, shape, or form an expert.  I just have some strong opinions, so here goes.

If you have 10 seconds.....hit pause.  Okay what?  Yes.  It says hit pause on whatever it is you and he are doing and just look at him.  Pretend that you are in his shoes, or think about the way he was when you first met him.  The example they gave was to hit pause when you are trying to cattle prod him out of the house because you are running late.  It says that if you pause for 10 seconds that it gives you time to realize that maybe he's had a hard week at work, or maybe he doesn't want to be doing whatever it is you are on your way to go do...and that a couple of minutes really isn't worth getting upset over.  On the other hand, if he's actually a jerk and a pain, then you tried, right?  Yeah....okay.  I think I may actually have to try this myself just to see what pops into my head.

If you have one minute....embrace each other gently and gently synchronize your breathing with his.  Bwahahahaha!  What?  Are you kidding me?  I suppose that this is an exercise in which you are to focus on each other and make a connection.  Seriously, can't this be done just by hugging.  Like a regular hug, without having to synchronizing your breathing?  

If you have 2 minutes...write down three things that he's done lately that you appreciate, and then leave the list for him to read (or email it, or text it). Okay.  I can see how this would work.  Maybe I will give this one a try too.

If you have 3 minutes...sitting or standing close to him, start moving your body in a way that mimics him.  What?  It's something about being fun (uh...I can think of other fun things to do in 3 minutes) and activating your "empathy circuits".  Uh, yeah.  If anyone is willing to do this, will you please let me know how it works for you?

If you have 5 minutes....try a daily forgiveness ritual.  The article actually suggests telling him (and him telling you) that you forgive the other for either knowingly or unknowingly ticking you off.  Really?  It says that it's "like a shot of immunity from fighting".  I think I'm feeling sick.  I don't even have anything nice to say about this.  If I have 5 minutes alone with my husband...I'd rather be doing something else that takes longer than 5 minutes!  Okay, I'd take a 5 minute cuddle if that's all we had.

I have something that might just be better than all of these "suggestions".  Why don't you just be nice and considerate of each other?  Make an effort for that quick kiss or hug.  I know that I've been trying that...and it seems to be helping.  =)

So, maybe let's just keep it simple and see how that works.

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