Operation Reconnection - The First "Date"

This weekend Grandma came to town, so Jon and I had our first reconnection/nurture your marriage date!

We did this Saturday afternoon.  Granted, we did do some errands while we were out, but honestly, I'm not sure that it matters what we did, just that we were spending ALONE time together.

We went out to lunch.  Nothing special, we went to Swenson's for some burgers and fries.  They have REALLY good burgers.  It was really nice to eat without worrying about shoveling food into the kids as well!


We then went to Men's Warehouse so that Jon could spend his $50 rewards gift certificate.  I will not tell you how much you have to spend to get a $50 rewards gift card....it's obscene, but totally and well deserved.  He got a nice shirt to wear on another one of our dates.  I promise that once we go on that date, I will make sure that a picture is taken and post it!  =)


Then we did the errand portion of our date.  Jon needs to get a new vehicle since we are now going to be a family of 5.  Three car seats will NOT fit in his car, so he has been researching and we took the opportunity to go do the "car seat test".  Let's just say he may actually have to get an SUV and not a car, so he's back to the research board on that one.


Even though our "date" wasn't just recreational, it was WONDERFUL to spend time alone together.  So while I know our "dates" will not always be without purpose or function for some other part of our life, like buying diapers or grocery shopping (okay...honestly I don't know about the buying groceries part), as long as we can go do the errands and have some time alone together, I think it will do the trick!


So first date SUCCESSFUL!!!!!  YAY!


I'm already looking forward to the next one!

Operation Reconnection - Some research

So, since Operation Reconnection is in full swing, I've been consistently looking for ideas and advice on how to keep everything going (and in perspective).

I came along this article that suggests 5 fixes for a stronger relationship.   I was curious, so I checked it out.

You know, they can put all kinds of crap out there.  I guess at least it was entertaining (sort of) to read.


It's a list of 5 things according to extra time that you have.  Okay, first of all, I know the concept of extra time is, well, there isn't any extra time....but wait.  It gets better....and more ridiculous.


Disclaimer:  I am in no way, shape, or form an expert.  I just have some strong opinions, so here goes.

If you have 10 seconds.....hit pause.  Okay what?  Yes.  It says hit pause on whatever it is you and he are doing and just look at him.  Pretend that you are in his shoes, or think about the way he was when you first met him.  The example they gave was to hit pause when you are trying to cattle prod him out of the house because you are running late.  It says that if you pause for 10 seconds that it gives you time to realize that maybe he's had a hard week at work, or maybe he doesn't want to be doing whatever it is you are on your way to go do...and that a couple of minutes really isn't worth getting upset over.  On the other hand, if he's actually a jerk and a pain, then you tried, right?  Yeah....okay.  I think I may actually have to try this myself just to see what pops into my head.


If you have one minute....embrace each other gently and gently synchronize your breathing with his.  Bwahahahaha!  What?  Are you kidding me?  I suppose that this is an exercise in which you are to focus on each other and make a connection.  Seriously, can't this be done just by hugging.  Like a regular hug, without having to synchronizing your breathing?  


If you have 2 minutes...write down three things that he's done lately that you appreciate, and then leave the list for him to read (or email it, or text it). Okay.  I can see how this would work.  Maybe I will give this one a try too.


If you have 3 minutes...sitting or standing close to him, start moving your body in a way that mimics him.  What?  It's something about being fun (uh...I can think of other fun things to do in 3 minutes) and activating your "empathy circuits".  Uh, yeah.  If anyone is willing to do this, will you please let me know how it works for you?


If you have 5 minutes....try a daily forgiveness ritual.  The article actually suggests telling him (and him telling you) that you forgive the other for either knowingly or unknowingly ticking you off.  Really?  It says that it's "like a shot of immunity from fighting".  I think I'm feeling sick.  I don't even have anything nice to say about this.  If I have 5 minutes alone with my husband...I'd rather be doing something else that takes longer than 5 minutes!  Okay, I'd take a 5 minute cuddle if that's all we had.


I have something that might just be better than all of these "suggestions".  Why don't you just be nice and considerate of each other?  Make an effort for that quick kiss or hug.  I know that I've been trying that...and it seems to be helping.  =)


So, maybe let's just keep it simple and see how that works.

Because I think I may have writers block...

I just ready Kristy K's blog over at Learning as They Grow.  She won some awards for her blog from some of her blogging friends.  Yay!  Good job Kristy!

She is supposed to pass them onto some other bloggers, but she is choosing to skip that step and said that people could claim them for themselves if they would write a blog of 10 things about yourself.


I'm not trying to claim any awards, but I thought that it sounded like fun.


I also have been trying to write for the last couple of days, and I seem to have some creative blockage going on.  Couldn't be that I'm about to give birth?


So I'm going to write 10 things about myself....things that you would probably never guess (or maybe you would).


1.  I'm actually worried that I may not have 10 things to write.


2.  One of the reasons we didn't have a traditional wedding here is because I couldn't have my grandfather walk me down the aisle without my father throwing a fit.  (If I had only been older and wiser, I would have asked him, but I don't regret getting married in Jamaica one bit).


3.  I'm a little OCD when it comes to cleaning.  I only use certain products, and I always do things a certain way...and it drives me batty if it is done differently.


4.  I STILL watch every season of the Real World on MTV.  Yes, I know I'm too old, but I still watch.


5.  I have a chocolate addiction.  It's bad.  I would eat chocolate all day long if I could.  


6.  I originally wanted to have 6 kids.  Uhh...totally insane I know.  I think we will be good with 3 kids and 1 dog.  That's equal to 4.  Anyone that has a dog would agree.


7.  I really hate my house.  We have great neighbors (except the trampoline people that live behind us).  It's really close to all of the schools.  It's in a great location.  I hate it because we have virtually NO privacy.


8.  On one hand I'm not worried about having 3 kids.  On the other, I'm scared to death.  Now we're REALLY outnumbered!


9.  I can be a real bad ass.  Don't mess with me, my kids, my husband, or even my close friends.  I don't put up with ANY crap from ANYONE!  I'm not afraid to let you know it either.


10.  I am totally lacking in self-esteem since I had kids.  I used to be the hot girl and I knew it.  I now know no such thing, and I totally need to find it again.


Okay.  That's 10 things.  Hmmm.  Maybe I can finally get some writing going on out of these!


If you want to share something about yourself, that would be great!  Just leave it in the comment section.

Operation Reconnection - The "Fun" Stuff

So I think that you can guess what I'm talking about when I say "fun" stuff.


If you can't, it's sex.


Don't worry, I won't get graphic.  If you wanted me to, you're in the wrong place for that.  =)

Since Jon and I have been together for almost 14 years, I would say that we have the whole sex thing down.  We know what we're doing (obviously since I'm about to give birth to our third child).  

Here's the thing though.  

Just because we know what we're doing, doesn't mean that it's not routine.  Meaning, that at some point it has to be more than Tab A and Slot B.  Or Tab P and Slot V....hahahaha.  Okay, not that funny...but it's a little funny.

So it's not that it's not fun, it's not that it isn't or hasn't been good, but when you have been with someone for a long time it turns into a routine.  Not to mention, when you have two small children and one on the way (and a dog) it tends to be...oh hey, we have 15 minutes....meet you upstairs.  It's just where our life is right now, and this was part of why we are/were having relationship issues.

Just because you do it, does not mean that you are connected.  (I know that some people may say it can keep your relationship going, but I have to disagree...at least a little bit).

Before I went to visit my counselor recently, I had actually told my husband that I was just doing it to "throw him a bone".  We've all been there.  We all do it now and then...we just want to sit and not do ANYTHING, but we know that is what THEY want, so we do it.

I wasn't feeling connected to him because there was NO romance involved.  And by romance, I mean there was literally no touching outside of sexy time.  No hand holding...very little kissing.  No compassion for each other.  So I really wasn't feeling it.  And every time he DID touch me (in any way) I felt that what he wanted was a little something something.  HE wasn't feeling connected because I wasn't really into it.

Ugh....it's a horrible cycle.  We (as women) need to feel loved to be into (I mean really into) sexy time.  They need us to be into it to feel loved.  Who the heck designed it this way????  ANYWAY!  That's the way it is.  We have to work with what we have so that we can continue to love ourselves, our husbands....and sexy time!

So my counselor suggested that we get rid of sex.  Yes.  You heard me.  Not permanently, but just for awhile.  She suggested that we just take it off of the table (or bed...or where-ever) until after baby #3 was born and I got the go-ahead from the doctor afterward.  Don't worry, there's more to it than just not having sex.  She said if we take sex out of the picture, we could learn to be more passionate with each other.  We could learn to hold hands, and kiss, and hug, and all of those other wonderful relationship things WITHOUT feeling obligated to have sex.  It kind-of seemed weird at first, but once I thought about it, it TOTALLY made sense.  I brought it up to Jon when discussing the whole nurturing our marriage conversation.  He was NOT thrilled with this idea at first, but he did reluctantly agree.


Guess what?


Totally genius.


It worked.


And it only took a week.


I know that my counselor suggested starting right away and not having sexy time until after the baby, but honestly, it really did only take about a week before I was feeling reconnected to my husband (much to his delightful surprise).  And he wants to show more affection.  We are both getting what we need from our marriage to make sure that we feel loved...so that we can continue to nurture our marriage as a whole....not just parts of it.


Now, I know that there are times and issues that are involved when the physical part of a marriage can't function properly.  I have had this issue (part of why I have been in physical therapy for so long).  All I have to say is that having children does NOT have to change the fun stuff.  It CAN be the way it was before.  You DON'T have to live with it, and you SHOULDN'T.  It can be fixed.  It can even be BETTER than it was before (yes, yes it can).  I never knew this before I met my physical therapist.  Because my life has been affected by pregnancy and childbirth (and improved by physical therapy) I am choosing to help other women as my career as a physical therapy assistant.  I want other women to know they are NOT the only ones, and that it is TEMPORARY.  So if you think this may be part of your problem, just know that it doesn't have to be. 

So, yes.  We have the fun stuff back!  I'm excited about that, and so is Jon.  Now we just have to survive the sleep deprivation that baby #3 will be bringing.... 

Also, my friend does a series on Fridays which is not only funny, but gives a lot of good advice.  Check it out!  Just click on the Let's Get Physical below and look for the Physical Friday series on her blog!

Dirty Laundry? Part 4 (plus a little extra)

Honestly, I didn't think that there would be anything to add to the laundry story, but I just had to share a couple more things with you.

I AM SOOOOOOO HAPPY THAT I AM BACK TO USING MY ORIGINAL FORMULA!!!!!!

Yes.  Again.  I am nuts.  I admit it.

I did some laundry yesterday and totally reverted back to using a WHOLE scoop of Tide.  The smell when the clothes came out of the dryer was like an old friend.  I was happy to have it back (and my clothes looked better too!).  All is good in the world of laundry again.

I suppose this goes back to the The Great Laundry Debate.  My husband has been telling his co-workers that I'm insane about laundry (okay, tell me something I don't know).  He told them that I have been blogging about it.  Yes, again, I suppose that blogging about laundry is a little insane, but anyone that does laundry on a regular basis is probably agreeing with most of the things that I am talking about (especially those who have kids).  He also urged them to check out my blog.  I'm not sure if they did...but if any of you are reading this, sign up and follow my blog (please!!!!!).  

Honestly, I'm just sharing my crazy life with people (and to my knowledge, just my friends at this point).  Seriously, I have talked to my friends about everything that I have written about here (although I do get to edit and change it if I don't like the way it comes out the first time!).

So join me.  Read about the insanity that is my life...laundry, kids, parents, parenting, marriage.  I will get to all of it (there ARE only so many hours in a day).  Hope to see you all join my blog!

Dirty Laundry? Part 3

I have finished my reduced detergent experiment.

And the verdict is.....

I JUST CAN'T DO IT!!!

While the smell of my clothes is still nice and fresh with using half of the powdered detergent, they just aren't as clean.  This is especially noticeable on the whites and lighter colors.  


I just can't jeopardize my laundry like this.  I have to put 100% into the clothes, or else I might just go nuts!  Okay, I realize that you are thinking that I'm already nuts, but this is one thing in my crazy life that is always and utterly the same...and therefore reliable.  I can count on my laundry!


I can't change the recipe that I have spent so many years perfecting.  The quality of my laundry depends on it.  (Again, I know this is nuts)  We work hard for the money that we buy our clothes with, and it's my job to keep our clothes as nice as I can for as long as possible (especially for the little men since we will be using all of the boy clothes twice).

While I was very excited at the prospect of saving money...and being a little friendlier to the environment, I don't think that the suggested powdered detergent amount was meant to be adjusted.  


So all I can say is that I did try...and I will continue to keep Tide in business.  Hmm, I wonder if I send them a copy of the blog they might give me some free detergent?


Happy washing!

When shopping becomes traumatizing...

Okay, I know that for a lot of women, shopping for clothes can be traumatizing, no matter what the item.  Generally speaking, I don't have body issues (most of the time).  I have been relatively skinny all of my life...(insert cussing and and nasty comments here)...until I started to have children.

I know that this is the case for so many of us.  You decide to bring children into the world, and not only do you have to give up your life as you know it (which is NOT a bad thing), you also have to give up your body.  

 Before children.

 April of 2006.  Mexico.  127lbs.

When you have your first baby, you think everything is a wonderful, amazing process, and you don't so much notice the weight gain...I mean REALLY notice it until after you give birth.  You still have grand delusions of getting back into to your pre-pregnancy clothes right away.....until you realize that NOTHING FITS!!!!!  You still have this belly that looks like you are about 5 months pregnant, and for some reason, your derriere didn't immediately shrink back to it's normal size as soon as that cute little person came out of your body.  I accepted this...it actually didn't bother me at all (until much later when we decided to go on vacation in spring of 2008).  I embraced being a little bigger (okay, honestly, I started out a size 5, and was an 11 after the Munchkin was born...and stayed that way until I got pregnant with the Little Man).

Baby #1

 Morning of Munchkin's birth, June 2007.  160lbs.  Size 11.

Then you have your second child.  You don't really have any body expectations at this point.  You know what is going to happen, and you don't worry about it, until every week at the doctor's office, the scale goes up 5 pounds (yes, every week, I gained 20 pounds that month)!  The bad part at this point was that I was on bed-rest and I could NOT do anything to stop the RAPID weight gain.  After the Little Man arrived, I knew what to expect about what my body was going to look like, but I didn't like it either.  Again, I had to go out and buy clothes so that I could go to work in something other than sweatpants.  I ended up being a size 13 after Little Man.

Baby #2

 

Morning of Little Man's birth, January 2009.  180lbs.  Size 13.

Then the weight started melting away.  Literally.  I wasn't doing anything.  I wasn't dieting.  I wasn't exercising.  I WAS under an incredible amount of stress at that point.  So, when you live on coffee and happy pills (yes...I admit it, and I needed them, AND THEY WORK!) you tend to loose a little weight.  I actually got down to a size 9!  And then......

Family Pictures.  Early Fall 2009.  140ish lbs.  Size 9.

I found out I was pregnant with #3.  I was a little panicky at this point.  I had finally started feeling better about my body.  And here I was pregnant again, facing another possible 50 pound weight gain.  Honestly, I have barely gained 20lbs. with this pregnancy.  My hips, derriere, and thighs, however, did not get the DO NOT EXPAND memo.  I was good up until about March...then things went a little downhill.  

Baby #3

 April 15, 2010.  32 weeks pregnant.  160lbs.

NOTHING FITS!  I KNOW that I'm pregnant.  And no, I have NOT gained much weight, but let's be honest here...my butt is wide.  Wider than it has ever been before.  It's uncharted territory!  I know that I will be birthing my THIRD child in just a few weeks.  People constantly tell me how cute I look.  How I'm all belly (we'll just wait and see what happens when the girth of my belly isn't covering up the girth of everything else).  I mean it's great that people want to be polite, but let's not ignore reality here.  It really doesn't make me feel better, to me it means that people are noticing (how wide I actually am) and are trying to make me feel better about it.

I know I said that this blog was about shopping being traumatizing...and it is.  I'm getting to it right now.  I feel that you needed the proper background information.

This past Sunday it was rather warm.  I was going through my mishmash of maternity clothes trying to find a pair of capris (that actually fit) to wear.  WASN'T HAPPENING.  So Jon, my dear, wonderful husband suggested that I try a pair of HIS shorts on.  Here is part of the actual conversation.....


"Here, just try them on."  
"They aren't going to fit."   
"How do you know, just try them."
"Because I know.  They aren't going to fit.  I'll show you."
And then I put them on and pulled them up.  And no, they didn't fit.
"Oh....you're right.  They don't fit.  Why don't you buy some shorts while you're out with Melissa today."

So, yes.  I knew what I was in for.  I even knew what size I had to look for.  I just needed to try on the shorts to make sure they actually fit.  I tried them on, and they did indeed fit.  They actually don't look too bad (because at this point, not too bad is the best to hope for).

I brought them home and did fashion show (I always do fashion show....it's imperative to make sure you look halfway decent in the stuff you just bought).  Jon commented that they didn't look too bad.  Okay.  Good purchase.  I'm good for the rest of the summer (because as we all know, your butt doesn't immediately shrink the moment you give birth).

I held up a pair (that I wasn't wearing) and said, "Wow, these look really big when you hold them up."  Jon agreed and inquired about the size.  I asked him if he really wanted to know.  He said that he did.  So I told him.  Size 15.  

He then said, "Weren't you a size 5 before you got pregnant with the Munchkin?"  
"Yes dear, yes I was." 
"Oh well, I'd still do ya."

Aww.  How sweet.  So as traumatic as the numbers seem, I suppose it's really not that bad.  Especially when your husband seems (or at least pretends) not to care or notice that you have an ever expanding body.

 
 

Dirty Laundry? Part 2

So, at the end of Dirty Laundry? I was contemplating using less laundry detergent to wash my clothes.  I decided that I would try it....just to see if my clothes actually came out clean.


An article that I read suggested that you don't actually need detergent to get your clothes clean.  (Again...um, ewwww!)  It also said that if you didn't feel comfortable getting rid of the detergent totally, you could get by with using less detergent.  Better for the wallet, and better for the environment!

However, it didn't mention anything about powdered detergent, so I went and did a little searching of my own....and I found NOTHING!  So I decided to just cut my detergent usage in half (half a scoop instead of a whole heaping scoop of freshness).

Yesterday I did laundry.  I was very concerned that my clothes would not come out clean.  I smelled every piece of clothing that came out of the dryer (to check for clean smell of course).  Besides, who doesn't love the smell of freshly washed clothes?

I must say that it generally didn't seem to make a difference that I used half of the detergent.  There were a couple of shirts that didn't come out as clean as I would have liked, but I can always use more detergent if I need to.


I think that I am going to try this one more time.  I am still on the fence about it...mostly because while the clothes did smell clean, it wasn't quite the same scent, and some of the items could have been cleaner.
 
So this experiment continues.  Keep an eye out for Part 3 which will be when I make the final decision whether or not less detergent really does the job.

Dirty Laundry? Part 1

Okay since I’ve had laundry on the brain (okay, who am I kidding, I ALWAYS have laundry on the brain…it’s all consuming) this article on laundry detergent caught my eye.

So as we know from my last post, I am a laundry freak, so I felt compelled to read the article. You can check out the article for yourself, but I was horrified when I read it. It actually suggested that you DON’T NEED TO USE DETERGENT!!!!!! What? Are they kidding? Wouldn’t that really be like showering without soap? Brushing your teeth without toothpaste? I am not impressed.

Ahhh, but not to worry (apparently), the article suggests trying to make your own laundry detergent in case you think it’s icky to not use soap (umm, hello?!!!! Yes it’s icky!). Now, it must be because Earth Day is this week (which in case you haven’t noticed, has turned into Earth week). I’m all for being more eco-friendly and saving the environment (and saving money), but really? Making your own detergent, can I possibly add one more thing to the list when I’m about to give birth to my third child?

I have seen this whole make your own laundry detergent on 16 17 18 19 kids and counting. I understand why they do it. They would spend a FORTUNE on laundry detergent if they didn’t make their own. I spend a fortune on laundry detergent, and there aren’t even 5 of us yet!

Coincidentally, I have been doing a laundry experiment since the beginning of the year. I keep track of how much laundry I do. Every load. I mark it down. It goes on the calendar. I want to know EXACTLY how many loads of laundry I do in a year, and subsequently how much detergent I use. I’m curious. I REALLY want to know. So at the end of my year-long experiment, I will let you all know how it turned out. I’m sure it will make everyone a little nauseous.

I decided to do a little research, just to see if I could find one for do-it-yourself powder. As you know from The Great Laundry Debate, I use powder, not liquid (I find it completely ridiculous to pay for water in a jug). I did happen across a site that lists 10 detergent recipes, only 2 of which were for powder. They seem pretty straight forward, but I’m worried about my patented “Bethy fresh” smell of laundry! My husband gave it this name many years ago, back when he discovered your pants didn’t have to be stiff as a board (helloooo, fabric softener) and your clothes didn’t have to have static cling (thank you dryer sheets).

I looked at the recipes and decided it would be SO much easier just to use LESS detergent (if possible). I did a little searching on that too…that I got nothing on. I suppose that I could experiment with the amount of detergent I use, but here’s the thing, do I want to risk having to wash a load of clothes twice because I didn’t use enough detergent? I think not.

So I’m torn. Do I try to use less, or do I continue to keep Tide in business? Tide has never failed me. I don’t want to give up on it. Can I really save money by using LESS detergent and still have my clothes come out CLEAN? I don’t know. I’m afraid to try, but seeing as how the BIG BOX of Tide at the Sam’s Club is $20, and I use a lot…A LOT…of detergent, I’m guessing it would be worth a try….maybe.

So, as the laundry continues to collect, and I continue to dutifully fight stains, I will contemplate the usage of detergent….the heaping scoopful, or not. Hmmm, I don’t know. I’ll keep you all posted.

The great laundry debate.....er, umm, insanity.

Okay, so I admit it. I’m a bit picky about my laundry. And by picky, I am just being nice (or at least using nicer words than what first came to mind). Anyone that knows me, I mean REALLY knows me will tell you that laundry is my thing. I spend an incredible amount of time doing laundry. I take great pains in keeping our clothes nice, not looking over worn, and trying to keep them stain free. Since the beginning of the year, I have been keeping track of how many loads of laundry I do. I am very curious to know, and I also will divide that out to figure out how much detergent and Clorox 2 I go through in a year. I know, it’s a little crazy, but when you spend so much time doing something, you have a tendency to want to know all about it (and how much money is actually being washed down the drain). For me, it’s not just a chore, it’s a mission.

I guess it would help if I explained how I got this way (about laundry, not about anything else…at least at this point). My mother was never really good about laundry, or clothes in general (at least for us kids) for that matter. I didn’t have a lot of nice clothes growing up. I know most of us didn’t, I mean it’s not like we are going to a fashion show when we are 5, but I mean, my mom didn’t take good care with my clothes. She didn’t do laundry very often. It was just a mess. By the time I was 9 my brother (who is 10 years older than I am) would pay me to do his laundry (I was also doing my own by this time). Cut and dry, my mom is an alcoholic; this prevented her from doing many things for us. I will at some point talk about her, but now isn’t the time.

Since I started doing laundry a LONG time ago, I have learned how to keep my whites whiter and my brights brighter. You wouldn’t EVEN believe the joy I get from saying that sentence! My husband will also tell you that is why he kept dating and subsequently married me….because of the way I do laundry.

I am EXTREMELY particular about my laundry products. I have formulated my own system over the years to get the best cleaning, spot removal, and freshness from my laundry. I guess it’s not really a secret formula, so I guess I can share it. I mean, I’ve shared it with my best friend (mostly because she kept bugging me about how I got my clothes to smell so good). Powdered Tide (Original Scent), Clorox 2 (liquid concentrate), and green Downy (ultra concentrate). I only use Shout for spot removal. It is the ONLY thing that I have found that will NOT fade any of my clothes (this means you can spray it, let it sit for a week, and know that your clothes will come out looking good). I then use a bounce dryer sheet in the dryer. If you don’t use a dryer sheet also, you’ll get static.

Now that you have the background on my laundry insanity, I will let you in on what the actual debate is. My wonderful husband was sorting the laundry for me earlier today. He was just trying to help me out, and get the dirty clothes out of our downstairs hallway. Our laundry room is first floor and is the size of a closet. I thought that when we bought our house, that first floor laundry would be great. I can’t wait for the day that we can move it down into the basement. Sorry, off track, back to the sorting. As Jon was sorting the laundry, he was putting clothes in with the darks that shouldn’t have been there, and was confused again (for the millionth time) about why which color clothes had to be where.

To save some time, I just sort into lights and darks. I don’t do towels separate unless I have enough to do an entire load. Lights include all whites, pinks, yellows, light oranges, beige, and light blues. I also include anything that might get dingy if washed with anything dark. Darks are everything else. Khaki pants can be washed with either, but truth be told, I prefer to wash them with the darks. Jon was sorting into whites and colors. He defended himself by saying that’s how it was done when he was growing up, and why did it matter anyway. Now, just to give you some perspective…we have been living together for a good 12 years. He should have SOME idea of how I sort laundry. So I kindly explained how I sort, and why. He wasn’t impressed, but allowed me to explain why things get sorted the way they do. He’s like, “but I was just trying to help!” I said, “Yes, I know. Can you please help me by running the vacuum instead?” He didn’t run the vacuum, but he did take it all in stride because of who he is. =)

I did say this was the great laundry debate, which it is. This is not the first time that we have had this conversation with each other, and it won’t be the last. It’s happened countless times. Every time, it’s the same conversation. It is always ended by my request for him not to help with laundry other than to transport it up and down the stairs. I know it doesn’t sound nice, but that’s how it has always worked. I’m not sure why we have to do this every so often. Maybe it’s just the check and balance system. Or maybe he’s just trying to let me know he’s willing to help. Either way, I do appreciate the sentiment of it. It’s actually quite sweet. Maybe next time I’ll just say thank you.